Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Some Idle Tuesday

What She Wore: Dark teal shirt with a shirred, scoop-neck; navy blue capri pants; gold beaded sandals. This wasn't my usual matchy-matchy outfit, but what can I say? I live life on the edge.

What She Ate: For lunch I went with my parents to their usual Tuesday place. They bring up the average age of the joint, so when I show up with Charlie everybody just freaks out. He's very popular. Anyway, I had the BBQ pork sandwich. For dinner I had noodles with marinara and Parmesan cheese--my fallback.

I will say that in the life of a special needs momma there comes a point where you're tempted to give in to self-pity. You wonder why these things happen to you. I've been pretty lucky, though. When I first began working in Arkansas I worked with a guy that was always known on my blog as Mr. K. One of the first times I ever talked to him, he told me that he'd spent the night before prowling around crack houses looking for his niece. Over the course of my two years in Arkansas, this golden-girl did a stint in drug rehab, ran away from home multiple times, got arrested, and started dating a guy who physically abused her. She'd call her parents when he beat her. Daddy's little girl also opted not to attend college, which probably broke her mother's heart.

When Charlie was in the hospital, the entire K family was there constantly. Scrubbing in one day, I said to Mr. K, "You know, kids can give you heartache at any age. Your child could be born completely healthy and then they'll turn sixteen and get into drugs and it'll just kill you."

"Yeah," he responded, "and it doesn't hurt any less then." I knew he was thinking about his niece.

You see, it's a truth in relationships: the longer and deeper you love, the greater the chance you'll get hurt.

Your daughter could be born way too early.
Your son could contract meningitis at age two.
Your grandchild could be diagnosed with autism at age three.
At age five, your daughter could be diagnosed with cancer.
Your daughter could come home pregnant at age fifteen.
At age seventeen they could be killed in a car accident.
Your son could join a gang.
At age twenty, your child could announce they have a gambling problem.
Your spouse could leave you.
Your parents will pass away.

Life is like that. We all experience our heartaches. We open ourselves up and we get to have the joy and the pain.

Rather than ask why this has happened to me, I try to remind myself that this happens to everyone. I might just be a little ahead of the curve.

If you're wondering about the title, well, Google it.