Beliefs

Well, I'm tired of looking at that last post, but I really don't have anything so today I'm putting up a list.

When it comes to raising a kid with special needs, I believe the following:

1. Somebody else always has it worse than you.
2. Somebody always has it better.
3. Better or worse has no effect on happiness. None.
4. The scariest thing about raising a kid with special needs isn't the limitations--it's the potential and how to unlock it.
5. Nutrition is incredibly important.
6. Vaccines should be treated with the utmost care.
7. Your kid is more typical than you may think.
8. There is no magical piece of equipment that will make your child walk/talk/pick up their head/crawl. That stuff takes hours of hard work on the part of many people.
9. The best wisdom comes from people who have been there/done that/bought the t-shirt.
10. The best wisdom does not come from your doctors.
11. Doctors work from generalities and your child is specific--don't forget that.
12. Always look at the kid--even if the tests look bad--look at the kid.
13. Go with your gut.
14. IQ is a measure of what you should know versus what you actually know--potential is immeasurable.
15. I no longer believe that brain damage=intellectual deficit. There are exceptions to this, but go ahead and assume that your child understands, explain consequences, and talk to them through out the day. Their bodies may belie their true understanding. Giving them the benefit of the doubt is free.
16. If a doctor tells you that you child will never be normal, ask them for the definition of normal.
17. Your kid is worth it--if a doctor cannot see you child's worth, get a different doctor. Yesterday.
18. Your child is normal. Disability is a normal part of the human condition.
19. Don't worry about whether or not you're making a friend uncomfortable talking about therapy or equipment or whatever. If they're any kind of friend, they'll figure out how to listen. Some people will be uncomfortable until they know the right language to use so use words like "disabled" and "special needs" around them so they know it's OK.
20. Looking at someone else's kid and being jealous is kind of like staring at somebody else's apple pie when you've got a slice of rhubarb right in front of you--time to figure out how to like rhubarb because that, my friend, is the slice you've been given.