Saturday, March 15, 2008

Together We Stand

What She Wore: navy blue running pants; gray t-shirt from my college days; tennis shoes. Today should be the big gardening day. We'll see how that goes. . .

What She Ate: I haven't had much yet, but we're off to have roast beef po boys at a place down the street.

One of the things that I like about having a blog is that sometimes I'm feeling something vague and undefinable. I'm unhappy and disatisfied for reasons that I can't quite put my finger on. Today was like that and while I was wandering around Home Depot, it hit me. The vague, undefined thing became clear in a way that it hadn't been before. I think this is all the writing. Forcing yourself to put it into words can really help.

Anyway, I was wandering around Home Depot by myself, seeing all these families picking out plants when I had a revelation. Moving home has put a real cramp in the workings of my family. For so long it was just the two of us. Hub, me, me, Hub. All we had was each other. People rarely invited us to do things because we didn't know that many people. Weekends stretched out with endless possibility--we could do whatever we wanted. Granted, we usually sat around watching TV, but we had options.

Now, we have the push-pull that is family. My husband has spent most of his weekend free time working on putting in a drainage system in his mother's backyard. We have invitations too--every holiday we spend trying to figure out who to visit and in what order. Christmas was exausting. There's also all the other people we know. There are invitations for Pre-Easter parties, Good Friday, St. Patrick's Day, and Easter Sunday.

I've got to figure out the balance. Respecting your family's needs and your own. Making sure that every weekend isn't spent making everyone else happy. Making myself happy too. I need to get to that place where I say enough is enough. The trouble is. . . how to do it.