Friday, March 28, 2008

Ahhh, the Politics

What She Wore: blue jean capris (do I have any other pants?); purple and yellow polo shirt; brown, slip-on tennis shoes.

What She Ate: Went with mom, dad, and grandpa to a local pasta place. I had Piedini Milanese--basically, breaded pork medallions and pasta with Alfredo sauce. Pork was fabulous, Alfredo was fine, but not as good as I make at home (just my opinion). I brought home my mother's Enchilada Pasta leftovers and I'll probably have that for dinner.

Just when the keel gets slightly even. . .life throws a curve ball (doesn't it always?).

My husband had three best friends in high school. One, his oldest friend, lives in the area and we see him and his girlfriend on a pretty regular basis. One has moved off to Atlanta. The third is a bit more complicated.

Long story, very short: He got in a fight with my husband's oldest friend, married a girl that no one really knew, and somewhere along the way my husband lost touch with him. I don't' think we've seen or heard from him since our wedding over six years ago.

Well, he's gone through a number of major life changes and through a little serendipity got my husband's e-mail address and dropped him a line. He's got two daughters of his own (we knew about one), and a step-daughter as well. He's also got a new job, a new wife, and even a new name. He lives about 45 minutes away, and he suggested we get together for dinner with the kids, wives, etc.

Herein lies a multitude of issues.

First, the simple: Being friends with two people who don't get along is a minefield. Do you mention the other person? Act like they died? It's difficult. I've cried my share of tears over this issue myself and the Hub is nervous as hell to put himself in a similar situation.

The second is pretty simple as well, but it's going to be coming up a lot quicker: if we do get together for dinner, we're going to have to send some sort of warning e-mail about Charlie and his multitude of issues. Otherwise, dinner is going to be filled with some awkward explanations or uncomfortable silences. To the casual observer, there's nothing wrong with Charlie, but a little bit of time and you might start to wonder why he doesn't look at you. Plus, his issues are a part of our life and it seems dishonest to get together with old friends and gloss over the most important thing that's happened to you in the last few years.

So, how to word the "warning" e-mail? I told the Hub to list very specifically what issues they would be seeing. Something along the lines of "he had a stroke; it affected his vision; he has delays as well." Short and simple and if they want to know more than I'm more than willing to get into the nitty-gritty in person. The Hub wanted to say that he had a heart problems and a brain bleed, but he's getting better now. I think that it would make me nervous if I was about to have dinner with a baby that had a brain bleed. I would want to know exactly what kind of issues we were talking about. Of course, most people assume the best, so maybe I'm worrying unneccessarily.

What do you think? If you had to have meal with someone's child who had "issues" what would you want to know in advance? Let me know.