Mommy Gush

I typed what was most-likely four paragraphs all about Charlie's therapy, what's working, what isn't, and all that stuff.

But I don't need to bore you with all that.

What I really wanted to talk about is how much I'm enjoying him these days. One of the hardest things about a child with disabilites like Charlie's is the lack of connection you feel. Charlie looked at me and smiled just because about once the first eight months of his life. My friend's flirty little boy who's the same age as Charlie did it like three times when they came to visit. I loved him, but I wondered if he knew me--if he liked me. These days he looks at me and smiles almost every time I go to pick him up. He gives me little glances during therapy and while he's playing in his stander. Sometimes he just wants to be picked up and now he's actually strong enough to look around and hold on while I cook or go check the mail. Please don't misunderstand--he is far from having the vision of a normal child, but he has come a long way, and we have much to be thankful for.

He's become so much more interested in the world around him. When I push him in his stroller, he holds on to the tray so he can sit up and look around. When we go out to dinner he looks all over the room and laughs at the shrieks of other children. I can see that these things are hard for him and he often gets worn out after a while, but he WANTS to do things. He's interested in his world. Now that we've gotten past the heart failure, the brain damage, the hydrocephalus, and the heart failure he's at a point where he can grow and explore his world.

I am enjoying his smile, his interest, and his little personality. I'm finally getting to know him.